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Whoever said there’s no such thing as a free lunch was kidding themselves. Banks are literally throwing money at customers to try and get them through the doors.

Take for instance the ING Direct Orange Everyday account: it costs nothing to get it and you can and will earn $60 for free by simply depositing money into the account, making a purchase with your Visa Debit card, and debiting money from your account ($20 each). On top of this, every time you withdraw $200 or more from an ATM, ING Direct will pay you $0.50.

Perhaps you’re the kind of person that likes credit cards rather than debit cards? Not a problem! Sign up for the HSBC Credit Card and you’ll be credited with $50 when you make your first purchase. Or the Woolworths Everyday Money Card, which gives you a $50 shopping card after you make 3 purchases. If you’re smart about these types of deals then you could be making yourself a tidy little sum for about half an hour’s work of filling in application forms. The banks are obviously hoping you will stay with them, but if you wanted you could simply then pocket the money, pay off the purchases and then cancel the card. However be careful doing this, because if you make lots of applications for credit this will show up on your credit history – and that may make it harder to get credit in the future!

Perhaps a better way of getting something for nothing from a credit card is via rewards points on a card that has no annual fee. If you always pay off your card in full, of course! There’s not many cards out there like this, but they include the American Express Gold Ascent Rewards Card, American Express Blue Sky Credit Card, the Bank of Queensland Blue Visa and the Coles Group Source Mastercard. There are also a few rewards cards that waive the annual fee if you spend more than a certain amount each year, including the Amex cards offered by AMP, HSBC and Suncorp.

If you’re the kind of person that can walk past a $50 note lying in the street then this blog isn’t for you. If not then enjoy your free lunch. I know I did.

(Note: the offers mentioned in the article were valid at the time of writing, but they may not be by the time you read it. And of course, there may be terms and conditions on each offer that we’ve not reproduced here.)

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Late last year, consumer group Choice won a significant victory in the conservative (ie stubborn) field of bank fees. NAB declared it would drop dishonour fees on overdrawn savings and transaction accounts following a backlash against the unpopular charges. And now businesses will reap the rewards, too.

The bank was pressured both by ongoing complaints and the Reserve Bank’s disclosure that the industry raised almost $1 billion in dishonour and exception fees. While the cause was taken up in defence of underprivileged account holders, small business will also enjoy the fruits of fee free accounts, which come into place this week.

At this stage, none of the other big banks have followed NAB’s move, but it’ll be interesting to see whether more consumer agitation drives changes that also benefit small business. We’ll keep you posted.

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A story came out this week that seemed 10 years too late – owing to a computer glitch, a sizeable number of Bank of Queensland and BankWest ATM and eftpos machines malfunctioned and stopped working. The reason? An internal clock in the devices ticked over to 2016 instead of 2010, thereby rendering any card with an expiry date earlier than 2016 out of date.

It was always a disappointment to me when the millennium rolled in and nothing happened. Kevin Costner had a large part to play in this, my desire to live in a barren post-apocalyptic wasteland piqued after watching Waterworld. I bought the canned goods and the bottled water. I sacrificed an entire summer’s worth of backyard cricket so I could construct a fallout shelter in the garden. So it was with glee and perhaps the tiniest glimmer of hope that I read about this latest development.

Were there irregularities in the time space continuum in Queensland and Western Australia? Should I be expecting a drive-by visit from a Delorean? More importantly, should I evict the 20 Israeli backpackers from my bomb shelter? They’ve been a real cash cow through the recession.

The whole saga got me thinking about what the world of banking will be like 6 years from now so I’ve constructed a basic timeline of events:

2011 – Gail Kelly becomes a blender jockey at her local Boost Juice after getting the heave-ho from Westpac on the back of a failure to glean a single home loan application in 2010.

2012 – In a bloody coup, the two American marketing gurus in the Commonwealth Bank ads take over the bank and install basketball hoops in branches and hand out money box transformers to kids, actually making going to the bank somewhat enjoyable. This popularity springboards them ahead of the competition and they take over an ailing Westpac, re-branding themselves as ‘Compac’.

2013 - NAB forced by the Australian government, led by a Hologram of the late John Howard, to annex ANZ when a financially crippled New Zealand becomes an Australian state (South Tasmania) and the unifying moniker of National Australia Bank was deemed to suffice for both.

2014 – Compac flourish for a couple of years till they are successfully sued for billions of dollars by American computer manufacturer ‘Compaq’ for copyright infringement. Daily Telegraph headline reports that the outcome has put the ‘Bank back into bankrupt’. Daily Telegraph headline writer fired.

2015 – With ‘Compac’ in dire straits, all their concerns are taken over by NAB. NAB renamed ‘The Bank’.

2016 - Nationwide backlash to what Howard labels a “perceived lack of competition”. Financial markets crippled as investors lose faith in “The Bank” after a 0.25% Reserve Bank increase is met with a 15% rise in the mortgage rate.

Year 0 – Former ANZ upper management turned radical New Zealand nationalists hacked into the software controlling the Howard hologram, and through a series of poorly thought out foreign policy moves, make North Korea unleash three nuclear warheads. Only those of us with fallout shelters remain. We have no oil or water, but luckily I have Gail Kelly with me to make me smoothies, fruit whips and juices. And there isn’t a financial institution in sight.

I guess the apocalypse ain’t so bad after all…

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Perhaps it’s the looming prospect of a few days break or maybe a few too many cups of eggnog at the Christmas party, but the banks’ proverbial sleighs really do seem to be a few reindeer short at the moment. Westpac’s banana smoothie video is an obvious case in point, but our video parody, Westpac Bank Bananas really says it all. With little more to add to the debate I decided to cast a wider net and look at what happens when the banks get a little carried away with their ideas on customer service.

I strolled down to a Westpac ATM and, upon instructing the machine to dispense my last $20, was greeted with an additional screen asking if I wanted the personal details of the bank manager. Partly intrigued and mostly bored, I wasted no time in pressing yes. I found out that the manager, Peta Cruickshank is, amongst other things, “pulling out all the stops”, “for blitzing fees” and is “dedicated to giving me fast answers”. In need of a fast answer as to what to buy my Dad for Christmas, I decided to call Peta on her mobile number. It went straight to: “you have reached the voice mailbox of ‘private number’. Beep”. She still hasn’t got back to me. Personal touch indeed.

It seems that this strive for customer service is rearing its ugly head at every turn. A friend who works for the financial services union told me that an unnamed bank’s renewed customer service push has seen quite a few complaints from staffers. Apparently the bank calls customers at random and asks them how the service was last time they were at the bank. If the rating is under 9/10, it impacts the staff member in question’s performance review. Here’s a particularly disturbing example: a customer was attempting to withdraw money and the ATM jammed so he had to go in to the branch to sort it out. The staff were very nice and helpful, but the customer gave the bank’s customer service a ‘0′ due to the ATM inconvenience. The helpful staff member got given a ‘0′ and a mark on her customer service record despite the incident being a result of a faulty machine. Don’t you just love it when the system works?

As an aside, would anyone else who’s seen the Commonwealth Bank’s most recent TV ad actually prefer their branch to have a basketball hoop instead of a customer service promise? Customer service should be a given and a basketball hoop would be a nice way to bide the time while the old woman in front of you counts change at the teller. Speaking of which, a male colleague of mine walked into a Commonwealth branch the other day, spoke to a young female teller and upon completing the transaction was asked to rate her out of ten. Cue awkward pause. He smiled, told her “11″ and bemusedly strolled off.

Ratings out of 10? Mobile numbers? Perhaps these lonely bank managers are fostering some kind of dating scene at branch level. Christmas is a time to spend with people you love after all!

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I warned you.  Westpac were off the mark early on Tuesday morning with an aggressive term deposit rate, and I blogged that it would put pressure on home loan rates to increase beyond the RBA.  Bingo!  Westpac was first out with that announcement as well, so clearly they’d planned the whole thing: put out the term deposit good news first to take the sting off the home loan bad news.

St George are matching the Westpac term deposit offer, so no prizes for guessing what their home loan rates will do.

Now watch the other sheep follow the leader.

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Westpac has just launched an astonishing 1 year term deposit rate this morning: 6.80%.  They’re not even waiting for the RBA announcement this afternoon.

A 1 year rate of 6.8% is an enormous rate, bigger than any 1 year or even 2 year term deposit rate in the market.  Yesterday the best 1 year rate around was an online special from Rural Bank of 6.25%, and the best the Big 4 offered was 5.5%.  You couldn’t get any more than 6.5% even if you locked your money away for 2 years!

It’s true that term deposit rates have been on the rise for a while.  Even before today’s announcement, the average 1 year TD rate was 1% higher than 12 months ago, even though the Reserve Bank rate is still much lower.  But up to now, it’s been the smaller players leading the charge on Term Deposits rates: yesterday’s leading 1 year deposit rates came from Rural Bank, AMP, Bank of Queensland and Bendigo.  That’s primarily because they’ve struggled to fund their lending compared to the Big Banks, and therefore need to attract more deposits.  So the fact that today’s aggressive move has come from Westpac is a real eye-opener.

We’ve been blogging here at Mozo for a while about the emerging savings account rate wars.  Now the conflict is spreading.  The other players will need to sharpen up their own term deposit rates in order to keep money coming in.  This is a great time to be saving!

But we have to wonder, at what cost to loan rates?  Last month, Commbank CEO Ralph Norris was blaming higher term deposit rates as one of the things driving up home loan funding costs, and one of the reasons why he wouldn’t rule out increasing variable home loan rates by more than the RBA increases.  This certainly isn’t going to help homeowners!

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As the clock ticks and the dust settles around Citibank’s Tuesday bombshell with the announcement of its Online Saver account, Friday looms as a landmark day in the escalating ‘Savings Account Price War’. Earlier last month, UBank issued a press release announcing a ‘rate assurance’ on its flagship USaver product, declaring that if the USaver base rate is lower than that of any of its competitors’ base or introductory rates, UBank will raise the USaver rate to match it. The assurance only lasts till the end of the year and is limited to the following products:

• ING Direct Savings Maximiser
• Bankwest TeleNet Saver
• Commonwealth Bank NetBank Saver
• Westpac eSaver
• ANZ Online Saver

Every Friday, UBank reviews the competition and makes changes as they see fit. The question is: will UBank take the bait and add the Citibank Online Saver to its list? If it does, it will be forced to match Citibank’s introductory rate of 5.5%. If it doesn’t, would UBank’s customers feel it is shirking its promise to lead the field? With the fickle high-interest savings account market largely driven by interest rates, can UBank afford to concede defeat over Citibank’s introductory period?

If Ubank fails to match the Citibank rate we could well see a raft of increasingly technologically and fiscally savvy consumers opening a Citibank Online Saver account for six months to take advantage of the higher rate and then transferring it back across to their USaver when the promotional period ends. With the ease of online money transferring and account application, this could pose a real and direct threat to the USaver.

As the adage goes, ‘you can’t win a war on a peacetime budget’, and the longer UBank fails to acknowledge the threat posed by Citibank, the greater chance it has of losing what market advantage it currently has.

So will battle lines be drawn? Keep your eye on the fireworks right here, as we bring you UBank’s response from the front lines tomorrow.

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Citibank has lobbed a savings grenade into the battle for the best high-interest account. But has it missed its target (Ubank) to land somewhere behind the Big Four’s line?

The answer lies in the little asterisk that sits next to Citibank’s brand new interest rate, making me a little bit uneasy – like sitting next to unexploded ordnance. First, let’s check out the big print numbers:

UBank USaver = 5.46%
Citibank Online Saver = 5.50%
UBank USaver = maximum amount of money you can have before you are subject to lower interest is $1,000,000.
Citibank Online Saver = maximum amount of money you can have before you are subject to lower interest is $2,000,000.

Pretty convincing, huh? But before you take that spare $1,999,999.99 and plunk it into the Online Saver, let’s dig a little deeper.

While Citibank does have the higher interest rate, it’s only for the first 6 months after opening the account. And then USaver has the option of setting up an automatic savings plan which gives you an extra 0.10% (for balances of up to $150,000) if you put away a minimum of $100 per month. So if you’re prepared to commit a small amount more to your savings (and $100 a month isn’t such a hard ask), you’re looking at a variable rate to 5.56% with no other strings attached.

The only real benefit that the Citibank account has over the USaver is that you can have up to $2,000,000 in your account before the interest rate drops back to their standard variable rate of 4.25%. Whereas the USaver rate stays at a minimum of 5.46% for balances up to $1,000,000.

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War! That mad game the world so loves to play – Jonathan Swift

The assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand by Gavrilo Princip in 1914. Germany’s blitzkrieg through Poland in 1939. Coca-Cola’s launching of ‘New Coke’ in 1982. The “I’m a Mac” ad campaign launched by Apple in 2006. All sparks that lit the fuse of war, whether military, cola or computer driven.

Swift’s words have rung true once again, as Citibank today launches its new Online Saver account, and in doing so, sparking the powder keg that is the savings account market. The once stagnant savings account market has been rocked in recent months, with UBank’s high interest rate without terms or conditions setting a seemingly unassailable benchmark for the competition against the backdrop of steady Reserve Bank rate rises pushing savings rates higher and higher. Whilst Citibank’s rate is only promotional for 6 months, it does see the first savings account rate from any competitor to better what UBank’s USaver base rate has to offer.

Stay tuned as we bring you more updates from the front lines over the coming days as we run the rule over the new Citibank Online Saver and see what UBank’s response will be. Fingers crossed we don’t get caught in the crossfire.

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Being totally independent and objective, Mozo doesn’t always have nice things to say about the ‘Big Four’ banks — especially because they often pawn off their better products to subsidiaries (Commonwealth to BankWest, NAB to UBank, to name a couple). So I decided last night to start digging around and find something competitive being pushed into the marketplace by one of these big players. A few fun-filled hours ensued as I trawled their respective websites, with unnecessary fees and uncompetitive rates as far as the eye could see. Swilling the dregs of my third coffee, I resigned myself to defeat and decided to humbly retreat to the comforts of Celebrity Masterchef. I’ll just have one last quick poke around, I said to myself, then go check how many cravats Matt Preston’s wearing.

And then I stumbled on the NAB Low Rate Visa Card — hold the celebrity cook-off!

First of all, the card has a very low rate on purchases: 10.99%, one of the best on the market. A relatively low annual fee of $49, and 55 days interest fees are other nice, if not inspiring benefits. The real thing that makes this card a winner is the promotional offer: 0% on purchases and balance transfers for the first 6 months.  With Christmas looming, this card could be a real winner for those hoping to spread the festive load over half a year without having to pay any extra interest.

Plus there’s a big saving on interest payments if you transfer a balance from another card — 0% for 6 months. The one stumbling block here is what happens after these 6 months. The purchase rate reverts to 10.99%, so that’s fine. However, balance transfers revert to the cash advance rate, which is set at a not so competitive rate of 19.99%. And in another sneaky twist, you’ll have to pay off that low-interest purchases debt before you can put a dent in the higher-interest balance transfer.

This card will save you a bunch — but ONLY if you can pay everything off in 6 months.

So NAB has proved the Big 4 can actually put out a quality product that’s economical to boot. If you can pay off that balance transfer in time, this could be the card that will feather your present nest without breaking the bank. Just make sure they’re not all cravats.

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